Step 1: Gently and carefully undress baby
Step 2: Talk the bath up. Convince baby that this bath is going to be ahhhhhmazing. Compare bath to baby's former home. Prepare for baby to hate bath.
Step 3: Laugh at baby's funny expression upon being placed in a very tiny amount of water. Make sure to not get baby's umbilical cord wet. Remind husband to not get baby's umbilical cord wet. Stress the importance of the dry umbilical cord.
Step 4: Ignore the fact that baby's umbilical cord is now rehydrated, thanks to well-meaning but forgetful husband*.
Step 5: Watch in horror as same well-meaning husband (who clearly is used to bathing toddlers and not infants) dumps an entire cup of water directly on baby's head and face.
Step 6: Comfort baby while trying to complete the bath as quickly as possible.
Step 7: Apologize to baby for the bath.
Step 8: Give extra cuddles to baby to make up for the trauma. Quickly put diaper on baby to avoid being peed on.
And that, my friends, is how to bathe a baby in 8 easy steps.
*"well-meaning husband" is actually pretty awesome at taking care of babies. Also, he has been bathing Maya and/or Charlotte pretty much nightly for almost 4 years now, so clearly this post is meant in jest <3