A Dichotomy

As foster parents, two of the phrases we hear the most often are
"I could *never* do what you do! I'd get too attached!"
and
"They should not get their kids back!"
and often they're said by the same person
and always, they don't realize the dichotomy of the two
because when we claim to be pro-life
and we take away access to healthcare and education
and we picket abortion clinics
but then we refuse to stand in the gap, refuse to risk our own comfort and our own family's stability and our own hearts...

"but they can put their baby up for adoption!" we cry
but the list of families waiting for a healthy white newborn is much longer than the list of those willing to take a drug-addicted black or biracial premie
because people don't want to pay $20,000 for a child that is "damaged"

when access to affordable childcare and housing and food is stigmatized or taken away
and when parents have to choose between staying with their children and putting food on the table
and when there is public outcry to "take her kids away!" every time someone makes a poor decision
but there are no families left to take in the children that are already in the system...

"well they should have never had children if they couldn't afford it" we say
and we don't realize that it is in complete contrast to our "pro-life" stance
because if they never had the child they'd be called murderer
but if they do they'll be called irresponsible or immoral



and as i sit here falling more in love each day with a tiny baby who's mama chose to give him life but is not able to parent
and i contemplate what it will look like in 3 months or 6 months or 2 years when she is able
and we have to lovingly let him go, just like we have done before and before and before
and i try not to think about where he would be and who would be loving him if we had decided that we didn't want to get "too attached"